Fighterops is looking very promising, but it will probably take at least a couple of years before it's done. Nothing about release date yet.
But there's another possibility.
www.vrsimulations.com
It's for FS9 and later FSX, so you won't be able to blow things up, but the fidelity should rival that of the most complex civilan add-on's.
The final beta testing should be done in a cuple of weeks(with the FS9) and release date not very far away.(for FS9)
Looking very promising indeed.
Best regards.