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  1. #1
    75+ Posting Member ddimm's Avatar
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    Smile Just in case you need a laugh

    I received this from a co-worker today and thought I would pass along a good laugh....

    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
    The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews, albeit they may lack a formal higher education, has ever lacked a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


    By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    *
    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Probably because auto-land is not installed on this aircraft.
    *
    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit..
    *
    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.
    *
    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode has a 200 ft. per min. descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    *
    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.
    *
    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    *
    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.
    *
    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF IS inoperative in OFF mode.
    *
    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.
    *
    P: Number 3 engine missing..
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    *
    P: Aircraft acting funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
    *
    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    *
    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.
    *
    And the best one for last
    *
    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

  2. #2
    500+ This must be a daytime job mauriceb's Avatar
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    Re: Just in case you need a laugh

    Read that one many times already & still laugh every time I read it.

    Maurice

  3. #3
    500+ This must be a daytime job ian@737ng.co.uk's Avatar
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    Re: Just in case you need a laugh

    i've seen this before, but even so it still made me laugh.... nice one brother
    have a great day .... ian
    Mr. Ian. P. Sissons is hereby recognised as an Honorary Flight Sim Captain following his passing in February 2016. This is in recognition for his commitment to Flight Simulation.

    www.mycockpit.org Featured Builder August 2008 www.737ng.co.uk
    FS9/PROSIM737/CPFLIGHT/Lots of BU0836X's and a Beer Fridge

  4. #4
    300+ Forum Addict Steve A's Avatar
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    Re: Just in case you need a laugh

    That just cracked me up Very funny.

    My Uncle works for British Aerospace at Woodford and he told me a funny story once.
    About 10 years ago the powers that be had the whole hanger floor painted in blue sections around each aircraft..... Huge squares of blue floor paint.

    When his shift went in to take over from the night shift, they had placed swimming pool inflatables, plastic ducks, life bouys etc in all the blue "pools"

    You are right aircraft engineers do have a sense of humour LOL

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